![]() The movie has an unmistakable The Room quality, if only because both films are the works of homely middle-aged men the world might otherwise ignore, but who look in the mirror and clearly see a younger, sexier Ryan Gosling with Steve McQueen’s swagger and James Dean’s effortless, timeless cool. The Room is the gold standard for exquisitely, transcendently, historically unself-conscious awfulness, but in recent years its position has been threatened by Neil Breen’s Fateful Findings. ![]() The Room occupies a weirdly rarified place in the trash cinema realm as, to quote the title of a documentary about Troll 2 (a previous honoree), the “best worst movie.” Fateful Findings is a dreamlike, new-age look at air conditioned suburban angst of middle aged men and hot trophy wives.For bad movie lovers, there are few things guaranteed to get pulses racing more than the prospect that some misbegotten cult favorite isn’t just a bad movie for the ages, it’s the next The Room. I almost wish more movies ended that way. The climax is a truly bizarre product of a disturbed imagination. It's not without it's cryptic appeal, there are a few real laughs and bizarre uses of camera, some baffling edits. Or some kind of alien alien approximation of them. I did find, after I got used to the caveman speak dialogue, that it was a sort of sad movie about fulfilling one's potential, failed marriages, true love and personal integrity. At hundred minutes, it rough, took me a few days to get through. Her main role is to stand there mortified while a very smooth looking looking older man plants sensitive kisses on her lips and cheeks (and get tied up in a van). And lastly, the "love of his life", the skinny blonde doctor girl, is also apparently much younger than him despite being older in the childhood flashback. The friend's teenage daughter, a truly desperate girl. The friend's blonde wife is stunning but struggles with the dialogue. The depressed eastern European wife Emily has a quiet pathos. The main trio of women are so ridiculously hot the only reaction one could have that it must be an alternate universe. Breen also goes to see two psychiatrists, who pretty much tell him he's great and that his decisions are awesome. He's vaguely mystical himself, an inexplicably successful author and computer hacker who works on a series of turned-off laptops, frequently flipping them and spilling coffee on them in some sort of ritual. ![]() A hacker shaman struggles to tell the "real" truth while always fighting off incredibly beautiful women. The mystical new-age narrative has an almost primal, indigenous quality. Fateful Findings is a melodrama from a third world country inexplicably out of the Las Vegas desert. And even the film narrative is in a less evolved. Characters speak abstractly in bold cryptic announcements, a strange tribal caveman speak. ![]() Language has evolved in a completely different direction. Fateful Findings in a transmission from the universe of Breem Prime. ![]()
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